You Can’t Change Other People

How To Accept Yourself & Others

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It seems that one of the most difficult realities for people to accept is that you can’t change anyone. The closer someone is to you, the more you are going to try to change those things that you don’t like about them. It’s so easy to recognize all the errors in others, but it is so difficult to change the errors in ourselves.

Looking at someone else’s problems, it can sometimes seem so clear what they could do to improve their situation. You can tell them, and probably have. You can explain it all out to them: the logic, the reasoning, and how they can improve their situation if they would only do what you tell them. It makes so much sense. But then they just continue to do what they have been doing!

What gives?

Acceptance of other people just as they are is really hard, because often what you want for those you love is better in your mind than what they are doing. It comes from a place of caring.

But what they say they want, and what they do, are often two different things.

The dirty little secret is that you also have those areas where you could do differently in a way that would greatly improve some aspect of your life…and yet, for whatever reason, you continue to do those things that bring you what you’ve got, and have resulted in you being where you are.

You may even want to change. You may even agree with what others tell you. And yet, you still end up in the same spot.

That’s called karma…and that is your lesson to learn, and your experience to have, and your creations to complete.

So, what can you do? What is the way out?

There are so many ways, tools, and techniques for clearing the consciousness and healing the unresolved areas that have lead to the behaviors that work against what you want.

All true change comes from within. It isn’t by willpower or force that you change, but rather, it is in the healing of memories that you naturally uplift your behavior towards a more awakened way of relating to the world.

The first key is acceptance. Acceptance of what is. Acceptance of yourself as you are, and of others as they are.

Once you accept what is, then the challenge is to love what is. To bring that loving and compassion forward from within you, and to love yourself just as you are and to love others just as they are.

A way into the loving of yourself and others involves the forgiveness of your judgements on yourself and others. Saying, internally or externally, “I forgive myself for judging (myself/others) for…” is a starting point.

As you bring acceptance, loving, and forgiveness into those areas inside of you, that alone becomes a major source of change, and is the foundation for the other work you can do, such as energetic clearing work, past life awareness, resolution of karma in dreams, spiritual psychology exercises, and a host of other techniques.

The essential spiritual viewpoint is in recognizing that who you truly are, your Soul, is perfect and divine and is one with God. There is no reason not to give love, receive love, and be loved…because you are the Beloved. When you relate to your own awareness of your divinity, and also the divinity of others, then you relate to something that is beyond all the seeming shortcomings of the personality level. At that point, it becomes a matter of choosing how you participate and with whom.

It is from this foundation that true change comes. The change isn’t done through judgement or force, but through the acceptance and loving which unwinds and heals the root causes. As you extend this acceptance to others, you shift how you relate to them inside of you, which may or may not change their behavior, but it does change your experience of their behavior, and that is everything.