Keys to Effective Communication
So many challenges and difficulties in relationships are caused by a failure to properly communicate. Misunderstandings and feelings of not being heard are actually surprisingly easy to fix with one simple, but extremely effective communication tool: perception checking.
If at least one person, and even better, if both people implement this technique into their communications, so many fights and problems can be avoided.
Here’s how I use this tool in my life. It not only works in personal relationships, but also in work settings.
When someone tells me something, I will listen for the essential message they are trying to communicate. Then I will say a version of “What I heard you say is [and insert the essential message I heard here].”
Don’t just repeat their words, actually listen to what it is they are attempting to communicate, and play it back to them.
Then give them an opportunity to correct what they are saying, or to affirm that you understood what they wanted to communicate.
The benefits of listening in this way are:
The other person feels heard
There is effective communication.
When I am speaking to someone and want to make sure they understand what I am saying, I will tell them what it is I want them to know and then say something like, “Can you tell me what you heard me say?”
Then I listen to what they heard, correct what needs correcting or affirm that they got what I was saying right.
The benefits of this are:
they actually have to say it themselves, which gives a different level of understanding,
making sure that they are actually understanding what you are saying.
When you truly implement this communication tool into your everyday life and relationships, it can have astounding effects. It's so simple and so effective.
By communicating in this way, you don’t have to assume or guess if the other person understands you, or if you understand the other person. You get to be responsible for the communication, rather than blame others (or get blamed) when there is a misunderstanding.
This week, use this tool and let me know how it works for you.
If you are interested in finding out more about working with Nat, respond to this newsletter or visit his website transcend.online