There is a truth-knower deep within your consciousness that knows what is true. You also have an ego, mind, emotions, subconscious habits, and unconscious patterns that cloud the inner knowledge.
When someone says what they know is true, their tone of voice becomes clear and their energy shifts and becomes solid. I was counseling a beautiful person recently. She would say the truth, and then she would go into all the reasons and rationalizations why it was better not to act on the truth, or wait for some other time to act on it. She would be solid in the truth, and then find a way around applying that truth in her life.
This truth was very uncomfortable. It was a painful truth. Acting on it would require really difficult decisions. It was much easier to put off dealing with the truth, but rather than being honest with herself, she was creating all the perfect reasons why it was the best approach to not deal with the truth as she knew it. And the truth was that even though it was comfortable and less scary not acting on it, it was also hurting her to stay in the situation.
Every time she would start rationalizing (rational-lying), I would reflect to her that she was really clear inside what the truth was. She would agree, only to once again start the mind games of avoidance, which were being driven by her emotions, fears, and unconscious patterns.
Finally, I just said to her:
“You know I really love and care about you a lot. I only want what is the very best for you. Because I love you so much, what do you think I would tell you to do in this situation? Just straight up truth?”
When she looked through my eyes, the eyes of someone who truly loved her and wanted what was best for her, she told me the truth of what was best for her to do.
Then I said, “Stop!”
I didn’t give her a chance to start up the monkey-mind and excuse the truth away.
I said, “Now, that is the truth. You know that is the truth. Just let that be the truth and don’t do anything with it.”
She said okay.
I then said, “And the truth is that right now you are not acting on the truth.”
She agreed.
I said, “Now leave it at that. Don’t do anything else. For the next week just sit with that truth. No reasons. No stories about why some other way is best. No games. Simply sit with that difficult truth and the fact that you aren’t acting on the truth, which is also the truth. And all that is okay. It’s okay to know the truth and to not act on the truth, but at the very least be honest with yourself about it. That’s it.”
She said she would do that.
Most people have never given themselves permission to be honest with themselves and just sit with the hard truths without either acting on them or rationalizing why they aren’t acting on them. Just sit with it. Hold it. You are bigger than any truth.
If you recognize the truth but aren’t acting on that truth, start by being honest with yourself. It isn’t required to know all the reasons why you aren’t following the truth, because there are probably some causes that are buried in the unconscious that you don’t even know about. All that is required is for you to observe what is, and acknowledge it inside of you.
“The truth is…”
And then, the last thing I would add is the statement: “…and I love myself anyway.”
Acknowledge the truth, be honest with yourself, and love yourself anyway.
I love that addition to “and the truth is, I love myself anyway” that’s powerful. I always do “and the truth is…” after my self-forgiveness, but love that added line “and I love myself anyway”….what an easy way to add in some self love when I make mistakes or am judging myself. Thanks for sharing Nat!